Last night Captain Canada and I decided to be lazy and grab some super healthy fast food for dinner from that mecca of Scottish cuisine, McDonald’s. Since we’d gone for a bike ride earlier and I overdid it a bit, I decided to hang back while the Captain ran out solo to grab some sustenance for us. Before I get ahead of myself here, I feel as though a little explanation is in order. Back in Canada we always had two cars, but since moving to Germany it’s just not realistic, affordable or even necessary to have two vehicles. So we have one fine German engineered automobile which I lovingly dubbed “BIM The Bastard BMW.” You see, BIM is a 1998 520I (a 5 series combi/station wagon). You’re probably thinking “how dare she call such a fine piece of automotive craftsmanship a bastard.” Trust me, it’s justified because BIM is in a constant state of deterioration and therefore in constant need of repair, has absolutely no room for any living creature larger than a gnome, and he came with an interesting musty fragrance that I’ve yet to conquer. The icing on the cake however, is the fact that apparently cup holders weren’t exactly a necessity, nor were they standard issue way back when BIM was forged from the fiery cauldrons of German industry.
Now back to the Captains McD’s run. Apparently on the way back from picking up my six piece McNugget meal complete with fries and a cup of Fanta, my beloved had to do a bit of evasive maneuvering in BIM. In other more truthful words, he was driving like a maniac as he tends to do. Mind you, I was not there to hold said cup of orange flavored beverage and as stated above, there are no cup holders in that tank of a car. So you can probably guess that my Fanta ended up all over the interior of BIM, much to Captain Canada’s dismay, in fact I’m sure he was actually quite livid. What is a maniacal driving Canuck to do in such a situation you ask? Why put his “always preparedness” obtained through a lengthy Scouts Canada career, to use of course. The Captain thought quickly of what would be the most effective way to clean up this sticky mess and my emergency maxi-pad that I keep stowed away in the glove compartment naturally came to mind. So with ninja like quickness he whipped that oh so absorbent feminine product out of that glove compartment and sopped up the wet mess.
I only found this out because he came in the door enthusiastically attesting to the super absorbency of maxi-pads and singing the praises of their multiple uses, apparently they work great as a bandage in a pinch as well. I believe his exact words were “Hey, you need to put a new emergency maxi-pad in the car because I had to use it to mop up your spilled Fanta. By the way, those things are really absorbent.” Though I admired his resourcefulness, I too almost found myself in need of a maxi-pad (or perhaps a Tena Active Liner) because I was in stitches over the thought of him hastily mopping the car up with an Always Maxi Classic.
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