First of all my apologies for frightening the living day lights out of my beloved readers (the tiny handful who do knot know me IRL) by giving yet another potentially damaging glimpse into my psyche. I implore you not to judge me too harshly, I swear, I really am rather well adjusted, functioning, and even on rare occasion nice person and my mom will totally vouch for me (most days). Ha! There’s probably a snippet of truth in that. Anyhow…I just posted the following status update on my personal Facebook page:
“I seriously just spent 3 minutes of my life deliberating between chicken or shrimp cup o’ramen for lunch. Reason being…not that I’m legit certifiable, but because we’re in fact having fish for dinner. I mean does the shrimp in those ominous little plastic cups even constitute as seafood? Like WTF is wrong me that I even think about this crap?!?! For those inquiring minds out there, I decided to be reckless and go for the shrimp.”
I’m now left wondering if those really are even shrimp in the cup o’ ramen and if we can we seriously, in good conscience categorize them as seafood? For instance, if those awful wrinkled, curled up, microscopic, jaundiced flesh colored abominations were in fact living sea creatures at some point, say in the past millenium, then what the hell happened to them to get them to their current state of being? I mean did some Rick Moranis wannabe get all Honey I Shrunk the Kids on those poor unsuspected crustaceans not to mention rob them of any natural sunlight?
I feel like they have to be man made and when I say man made what I really mean is mad scientist made. Why oh why do I choose to put such chemically infused awfulness into my body….oh yeah, because I’m lazy and not so jazzed on the idea of conjuring up awesomeness in the kitchen more than one to two times a day. I do in fact generally cook & always bake from scratch mind you because I really am a modern day June Cleaver…only with purple hair and an affinity for profanity. Oi! As always, thanks for reading and check back soon.