Oh No You Didn’t!

Tonight Captain Canada and I decided to venture south to Bamberg to have something different for dinner tonight.  Ever since we discovered Ichi-San a few weeks ago, I have been craving their chicken and vegetable dumplings so that was my vote and Captain Canada had no objections.  We got to the restaurant and it was pretty well empty with the exception of the one guy eating sushi by his lonesome.  Sadly though that was not to last long.  A group of three young twenty something girls came in and sat directly behind us and that’s when shit got annoying.  One of the girls made some rather hilarious generalized statements about Canada (little did she know that the Captain was seated right in front of her), then the girl with the manly eyebrows and unpleasant voice felt the need to sing every crap pop song that came on the radio at a shockingly inappropriate volume.  I was ever so thankful that girl number three was quiet as was girl number four who joined them later.

Finally my dumplings arrived!  It was then that one of the incredibly obnoxious duo made the very loud observation that we were speaking English.  Their observational skills were astounding and they clearly took it for granted that we could in fact understand German.  Ugh!  Whatever though, I tried to ignore them as I got to work on my delicious dumplings, which I admittedly voraciously consumed.  I feel like I need to elaborate on just how delicious these dumplings are.  They are so out of control good, it blows my mind a bit.  Then they come with this garlic soy sauce to dip them in, the word scrumdiddlyumptious springs to mind.  I am seriously thinking of just getting two of orders of the little suckers and calling it a day next time.  I’m getting hungry again while I type this, please don’t judge me.  Next our main courses were brought out.  Captain Canada ordered a sushi platter with a variety of  things that I wouldn’t touch with ten foot chopsticks and I got a stir fry with vegetables, chicken and thick wheat noodles (like what you find in udon soups) smothered in teriyaki sauce.  The Captains tea and my food arrived so hot, I swear that kitchen has a direct line to Hell.  My dish was really good although I think they could have been slightly less generous with the sauce, but that wouldn’t necessarily prevent me from ordering it again.  As far as the sushi went, Capt. Canada said it was quite good, as was evident from his clean plate.

Once we both had finished and sat for a bit to finish our drinks I ran upstairs to use the facilites before our thirty minute drive home.  Upon my return, the Captain was ready to leave so he began to move his chair out and get up.  It was then that the “incident” occurred. First I should explain that the chairs in the Ichi-San are covered in a lovely vinyl mock leather material and Captain Canada always wears a leather belt.  Low and behold as my beloved started to get up out of his chair, his belt made contact with the vinyl chair back and the friction between the two resulted in a very interesting and unmistakeable boisterous noise.  I am willing to bet that my eyeballs almost popped out of my head because I, like the blown away foursome behind us thought he had sliced one off.  Those of you who know me, also know that I have very little self control and reserve in moments such as these.  So in my typical fashion, I erupted into hysterical laughter.  The Captains face went a wee bit red as we began to walk away and I quietly and difficultly, thanks to my laughter, asked him if he had in fact farted.  He of course replied with a rather indignant, “No! It was my belt.”  Then, feeling as positively exasperated as he was, he almost got caught in the door as we made our hasty exit.  As soon as we were a safe distance from the restaurant I just couldn’t go on and ended up doubled over in laughter on the street.  It was then that my husband regained his sense of humor and joined me in laughter while still insisting that he hadn’t in fact ripped ass.  Yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever you say dear.

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One thought on “Oh No You Didn’t!

  1. Laurie says:

    Laughing so hard it brought me to tears…only you

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